One summer night, after attending a class based on Belsebuub’s work, I joined a group for an hour-long awareness walk along a path overlooking the sea. It was a perfect summer evening for a walk and everyone in the group was striving to be aware.
At the time I was asked if I wanted to join the group walk I really did not feel like going as I was struggling with and feeling weighed down by some difficult emotions. It seemed that there was no place I could go to escape the way I was feeling so I chose to persevere and join the walk anyway.
I had recently been using a technique taught by Belsebuub to eliminate the egos. While this technique was certainly helping, my emotions were quite intense and I had difficulty drawing sufficient strength for it to be as effective as I would have liked.
I decided to make the most of this time on the walk to use what I had learned. My aim was to reach and maintain a state of awareness as best as I could and to eliminate any egos as they arose. I had learned that, if I was to succeed, I needed help. So, given my feeling of weakness at the time, I prayed to my Divine Mother and Father for strength to be effective with my goal.
At the beginning of the walk I was really struggling. Nonetheless, I continued, striving to be aware, to get rid of any unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions as they arose and praying for strength. During the walk, when I lost awareness I would stop, look out to sea and to the stars and bring myself back to awareness. Once I regained focus, I continued my walk in awareness, while practising and praying for strength.
The further I walked in this way, the more I could feel the weight of my emotions fall away. I felt my strength begin to return and my practise became more and more effective. By the end of the walk I was astounded at how good I felt.
It was amazing what a huge difference an hour of focused practice can make. I felt transformed. The darkness and heaviness I had felt earlier was gone and I felt extraordinarily light, energised, strong and free from egos. As well, I felt a strong sense of love – not for anyone or anything, just a wonderful state of love.
The end of the walk, when we all came together, culminated in a special sight. Looking into the sea not far from shore, there was a large, brilliant, bright blue light shining up from the depths of the otherwise black sea. While this was a natural phenomenon, it was so extraordinary that it was featured in a major newspaper. For me, it just added to the magic I was already experiencing after an hour of dedicated practice.
I’ve never heard of that blue glow in the water before, but it sounds amazing, just like your whole walk. It makes me long for the magic of connecting to nature and the strength that a good effort like yours brings.
This reminds me of many occasions where I’ve felt this way – negative, heavy, weak inside, where sometimes these feelings are actively opposing any spiritual activity, making it seem like something I’d rather not do, but go do something else, where I can zone out of these difficult things going on within and forget everything for a while. But I find that the reward from doing that is not very great, it’s only a momentary oblivion to myself, and it rather makes my state go further down inwardly – I still don’t feel any better, and bleary, tired and disappointed on top of it. But if, like you, I decide to do a spiritual activity or practice anyway, with some time, sincere effort and persistence, it can be miraculous how much lighter, brighter, and sharper I feel, not affected by those negative feelings any more.
For example, recently, it was evening, and I was about to do a spiritual practice but I felt these kind of protestations going on within, and I felt physically a bit tired out too, and it was making me complain, I can’t do this… I went against it and did the practice anyway, because I knew it would help, and at the end I was at such a different, better place inwardly, and feeling better physically too – the negativity was completely gone, and I felt connected to spiritual things.
Hi Sue,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I very nice to read that you push through those dark obstacles with the help of your Divine parents. The end of your walk sounds very rewarding, nice work.
Thanks Sue for sharing your experience.
I too usually find it hard to get into awareness and need time and praying to make it worthwhile and possible.
‘Thinking’ that I am aware is the opposite of ‘Being’ in awareness – I find that it usually it comes from the heart for me, rather than the head.
Nice to read your experience Sue!
Looks like walking can be a quite beneficial exercise, isn’t it? 🙂
Especially walking with others who are practicing the same thing also helps me to have a better remembrance and more strength to bring myself back to the present moment.
I can imagine that it wasn’t just the blue glow in the ocean that looked beautiful but how generated love can affect us as well.
Thank you for sharing!
Very nice, thank you very for sharing Sue. I agree with Zorana, that the blue light sounds like another interesting phenomena you’ve encountered during your practices. 🙂
Regarding awareness walks, especially in nature, they have saved me from negative heavy emotions a few times too. I remember one occasion, when I was so heavy and drained by some ego states, that I just felt like I wanted to go somewhere to nature to recharge, so I went to a near-by park. And while there, I felt like the trees, the light and everything around me was feeding me and raising my vibration, and after about half an hour of being there in awareness and appreciation, I felt completely different.
Nice one Sue. A great example of the benefits we’ll receive when we choose to persevere, turning our whole psychological state around like that.
The blue bioluminescent water sounds beautiful! I’ve actually swam in water like that once when I was young on a beach. When I moved my hand through the water it would create these streaks of light ‘water sparks.’ It was very otherwordly. At the time I thought it was the algae’s reflection of moonlight, but apparently that’s not the case and it’s something else that makes them shine.
Anyhow, even though that sight was perhaps not metaphysical, imo that doesn’t mean it wasn’t mystical and amde to appear by some higher forces.
All the best Sue.
Hi Sue,
I can relate to your experience of heavy emotions and not feeling like practising but as in your case, whenever I did a practice no matter what I would feel completely different and light as you did. It goes to show how little is needed to actually transform our state of being, although for a short time.
Thanks Sue, this is a great testimony to how a simple walk, when approached with the goal of coming out of the mind, can really change our inner state.
I’ve started to ensure I go out for a walk every morning these days – I feel like without the special clarity that walking in nature brings I am just starting the day on the wrong foot, or a little bit uncoordinated! There’s something about grounding yourself in your body and connecting to the life all around that really helps with the battle with the mind and emotions.
I also think it’s one of the best things to do when we feel ‘stuck’ and weighed down. Great that you were able to overcome the resistance!
That’s such a magical moment at the end too! A little wink of acknowledgment from the divine it seems!
Thanks for sharing your experience Sue. The message I took from it is that although it may seem to overcome lower emotions at times, with persistent efforts its possible to not only break free of them, but to also gain a spiritual reward as a result, like the feeling of love you described.
Oops! I meant to say it may seem impossible to overcome lower emotions at times.
How beautiful. Sounds like a walk full of magic. Very inspiring as well, that it’s possible to break out of heavy feelings if I’m persistent enough.
What a beautiful walk, Sue. Your description of looking out to sea and also seeing the stars was so powerful: I felt calmer and clearer just reading that.
It is really incredible just how quickly we can raise our inner states with prayer and with determination to break out of low states. Your perseverance really paid off; it sounds like quite a magical evening.
That sounds like an awesome experience Sue. You have seem to have a knack for encountering some pretty interesting phenomenons during your practices! It’s inspiring to hear that your persistence, along with prayers, helped you overcome the struggle to reach the level of awareness that your were aiming for during your walk. I find that it is in those crucial moments when I feel like I’m just about ready to give up that I find an inner strength that seems to help me want to persevere and move forward with my goals and practices when I decide to make the effort to continue with them.
Hi, Sue. It was really encouraging to read your experience. Sometimes those feelings within seem like a wall that I could never overcome, but it’s so important to be persistent and patient, and to have faith.
I just checked the link at the end of the article and that blue glow in the ocean looks just incredible. Would be great to witness one day!