Many years ago I attended a retreat with a large group of people. It was at this special place, away from life’s daily grind, a place we could gather to practise the work of Belsebuub.
As there were many of us there, we all split up into different groups to do different spiritual practices.
The practice group I stayed with was going for a walk in nature, with the goal to simply explore and learn more about what is awareness.
I was still trying to find my bearings and learn exactly what awareness was about at the time. Leading up to this point, nothing seemed to gel or make sense, and I even had thoughts like ‘what am I doing here?‘ and ‘am I wasting my time being here?‘
The walk was beginning to feel like the others days prior — full of thoughts and a swirl of heavy emotions and I couldn’t enjoy the beauty of nature that surrounded me.
I couldn’t get to any silence or inner peace, as hard as I tried. It was the type of practice that you just wanted to come to an end. Not really appreciating what it means to ask internally for help, this made my time more of a challenge due to my moods.
Halfway on this walk we each had the opportunity to give feedback, to let others know how we were going, to discuss if we were noticing anything different, if we had any insights to share. To my surprise, I found a positive boost when I heard one person explain to another individual that ‘it’s just a walk, nothing to do with the mind or your emotions, it’s just a walk — nothing more or less‘.
These words clicked into gear a brand new understanding for me about what awareness is. It was like I had really needed to hear this simple statement. And from this new understanding, I recall feeling a lighter sense of being, where I had renewed energy for the spiritual work.
The walk from this point forward was completely different and it felt rewarding as I felt more in tune with my body, like I had a different step in my stride, and a newer appreciation of what awareness is, helping me find a new way of being.
The remaining time at the retreat took on a new light, and I was able to re-focus my attention toward what had brought me to this place, the spiritual over the mundane, by being more aware from moment to moment.
I was shown and given something special, and to this day, I still recall this experience as it has had a significant impact on my life.