I had a very interesting experience with being conscious in the moment, which I had learnt about in Belsebuub’s courses and books.
So much of what’s within me has affected and directed my relationship with people and not always in the best way. I came to see one aspect of this one over a chat one afternoon.
A Meaningful Meeting with My Friend
I was visiting a life long friend of mine and we had known each other from a very young age. We were sitting in the kitchen around the dining table talking.
My friend had grown increasingly angry over the years — something that I could sense each time we caught up.
Anything and everything seemed to provoke them to be angry and I developed a way of being reactionary to this anger by being scared of saying the wrong thing or not meeting their expectations and so causing them to be angry with me, and I began to see them and think of them as just an angry person which then enhanced the fear in me moreso and started to affect our friendship as well.
I didn’t realise how I had been contributing to this person’s anger towards me through this fear reaction in me, until that afternoon.
As we sat chatting, I took a step back from this fear in me and decided to instead just be there in the moment and work on being conscious in that moment, not allow the fear to get hold of me this time around. I relaxed, allowed myself to be conscious to experience that moment as consciously as I could to just be there with my friend.
Being conscious I then perceived something I never had before, I noticed that the egos of anger had taken over that person’s way of speech and it was now like it was part of their personality, and that they were not even aware of it.
Though they spoke with anger in the way they were interacting with me, what they were saying was not of anger itself, as they were just recounting how they felt about something.
I continued to try to perceive the moment consciously and I was able to chat with them with more understanding and love towards them. I was able to tune into what they were saying instead of being clouded by the fear and the anger in their personality that disturbed our communication normally.
I didn’t feel they were attacking me with their anger, because in reality they weren’t, though anger had made its way into forming part of their personality.
This was the first time in many many years that I got to appreciate my friend, have more understanding and compassion, enjoyed our chat and learnt about how I had misunderstood them because of how egos were working in both of us.
I can see how so much is lost in communication because of the egos in me that cause me to be negative and ineffective in my communication and lead me to all kind of relationship issues.
My friend and I ended our time together with a lot of love and care and I was so happy to be in peace with them and to also be able to leave them in peace as well.