I remember when I was a teenager how heavy I felt at times that I just spent days and months thinking about life and my own emotional states. I felt this was a kind of a way of being for me, my response to life and to my own feelings and thoughts. Later on, I realised that this kind of thinking and being brought with it lower states and I started to wallow in them–making them stronger over time.
The Cycles of Depression
When I was 16, I experienced my first year of being very depressed–the feelings of despair slowly enveloped me and I couldn’t see a way out–but kept searching for answers within myself. I was totally lost.
Another episode started when I was 18 years old–again it slowly crept in and before I knew it I was deeply depressed.
This cycle repeated again and I started seriously looking into the causes within me. But apart from understanding that I had problems with experiencing a whirl of emotions and that I needed to change–I didn’t know what to do.
These events continued until I found out about Belsebuub’s work on inner change. I began to attempt to learn about my own ways of thinking and behaving, using Belsebuub’s technique on self-observation, as well as another exercise to permanently remove harmful emotions and inner states which led me towards higher and lighter states of being. I thought this was exactly what I was looking for and as I have previously tried various other techniques and ways of studying myself I had nothing left but to try this way and see if things would improve. It all made sense so I used my time learning, looking into my self–reflecting and observing myself in daily life.
After some time of studying and learning about my own inner states and emotions I realised my reactions to life changed and I was able to perceive the events of my life in a new way–a way that didn’t leave me paralysed with all sorts of unwanted low emotions and I was able to perceive them above the surface of daily life. Some difficult events continued to unfold but my responses kept changing and improving the life I was leading. Thanks to the techniques I learned from Belsebuub’s work I am able to handle life in a whole new way and because of that I don’t slip into the depression anymore. The cycles of depression have ceased and I am able to pick myself up above my emotions and feelings and continue with the inner work, living instead in clearer and calmer states within.