People talk about willpower to overcome addictive habits. As I generally had what I thought was good discipline (when I wanted), I believed I could use this and give up any of my harmful addictions at any point. But there was something deeper that I didn’t quite understand until I read The Peace of the Spirit Within by Belsebuub.
Re-connecting with Divinity
Reading about the divine essence within each of us made me deeply repentant for how I was living my life and the wrong I had done.
Through the simple practice of awareness in the present moment (which Belsebuub explains in the video below) I was able to experience the consciousness and strengthen it. I had spontaneously felt this at various times previously, particularly in nature, but hadn’t really known how to bring it back. With the practices from Belsebuub’s book, now I knew.
Feeling the spiritual within a few times by practicing awareness and praying was enough to encourage me to make the concrete decision to dedicate to the practices sincerely and with discipline. I knew I had to give up all the detrimental things and addictions that had become so much a part of me. So with determination, that’s exactly what I did. I set a day to begin to really go for spiritual change, and essentially resolved to completely give up all my harmful addictions.
Every time an urge to feed one of my addictions came up, I practiced awareness. I simply came to the present moment through the five senses and began to observe and be detached from the thoughts and emotions associated with those addictions. With many aspects, it was like I had a physical urge to actually go and partake in the addictive activity. Thoughts came up of the pleasurable outcome. The addictions were as strong as ever, and these hooks persistent, but now I was beginning to observe them rather than go along with them.
It wasn’t easy – but I had faith in my divine parents, and having felt what the consciousness was like, it really seemed like it was possible to make the change a reality. Another really important factor for me at that time was reading people’s experiences on the websites presenting Belsebuub’s work. They were just ordinary people who had wanted to change and actually had. In that way, I really wanted to be like them!
The chains of the addictions I had were being broken and replaced with spiritual activities I learned from Belsebuub’s work.
I filled my days with completing duties in awareness, whether cleaning the house, cooking, eating, going to university, reading, and when I didn’t have a particular task to do I would go for long awareness walks, chant mantras (often just the five vowels), do simple meditation practices like concentration on the heart, and so on. My goal with these practices was to be clear of the egos – and they worked. Mantras in particular had a strong impact, generating a very nice vibration and stillness within.
I made sure I kept active with one thing or another, as I found that if I wasn’t doing anything the negative inner states could come on quite strongly.
To my amazement, as the days passed I began to feel this kind of joy simply in being alive. I realized how much of a gift it is to have a body and exist in a world of so much possibility. To have an ordered life, neat and clean house, meaningful conversations – just that made things worthwhile. My general state was also very uplifted as my surroundings were put in order, and inside I felt this kind of positive energy in my whole body.
Of course, the darkness within was still there, and often the heavy emotions got the better of me. Usually this happened through a persistent thought that wouldn’t go away, and if I let it carry on, it would generate more and more negative thoughts and scenarios until my state was very low and depressed. I made many mistakes (and still do!), but I learned one of the most important things which is that mistakes are one of our greatest teachers. It was the hope of correcting them and removing the egos that drove me on.
I knew at any point I could pray to my divine parents for strength, understanding, and guidance to overcome the challenges I was facing, and that help would be given. It’s been great to know that we’re never truly alone! Much of the help was through clear positive spiritual dreams which gave me encouragement, such as flying in brightly lit nice outdoor scenes, being shown spiritual symbols, or meeting spiritual beings. Often these experiences came when I was feeling down and gave me a real boost to keep going.
Through consistent practice I could now see two sides of myself clearer within – one being the peace of consciousness, and the other the turmoil of egos, worries, emotional drives, etc. When the awareness and consciousness was strong, there was no thought or urge to feed any addiction – there was just a nice peaceful feeling. That peace has been the benchmark for my efforts ever since.
To this day I still believe any addiction can be given up at any point with enough willpower. But for me I needed something more than just an idea that life would be better without them. It was the experience of the consciousness and love of the divine Father and Mother, which gave me the incentive to make the wholehearted step to begin to change.