Some years before I started attending Belsebuub’s courses I noticed that I needed to work on my emotions if I didn’t want my life to continue the way it was, full of emotional turmoil.
I started to analyse my emotional states but I felt that something was lacking, I didn’t seem to be able to get rid of them. They were just repeating year after year and I felt, although very aware of them, that I couldn’t do much. I felt trapped.
I remember when I learned about the analysis of an inner state that Belsebuub explains in his work I was so glad that I started to practice it and meditating twice a day for some time. This was because I observed that I had a strong aspect of anger that I just wanted to really get rid of.
I had this very strong will and drive to be free of that aspect of me but I also wanted to try out this meditation on an ego, to see how it works and what I could get out of it.
The Tools for Change
Apart from the meditation on an ego, I also learned about the ego elimination technique, which can be used in daily life. I would practice both the meditation and the elimination on an ego during the day, as they work together.
So for example in a daily life if I would spot an emotion of that aspect of an anger inside of me and I would use this elimination technique to remove it. Then later on when I would sit down to do an analysis of an ego I would look over that occurrence in a detached way which would help me to see it for what it is and in that way, I would gain a deeper understanding of it.
I had learned in the course that without this understanding gained in the moment, that we cannot fully get rid of those emotions, so I was so happy to have those tools that worked as magic together in helping me diminish these heavy emotions that weighed me down so much.
The Fight for Inner Change
At the time when I learned about these techniques, I shared a flat with another person. We were flatmates. We had a very different way of living and soon we started to have arguments. I felt this very strong anger inside of me and I can see how my perspective of them changed.
Now that I had learned a new way of dealing with such unwanted emotions, I felt that I had the right circumstances to practice it as this ego was flaring so much within me that it was easy to be looked at.
I had this very strong will and determination to work on it. I would practice in the morning for about an hour and in the evening as well.
During the practice I would somehow get into a very calm and focused state so the whole of the practice was unraveling in front of my eyes without me actually doing it, at least it felt like that.
It felt as though all effort I put into it was to sit down and to calm my mind with a mantra that can be used in this practice. Soon, as I calmed my mind I would get the picture of the ego very clearly in my mind and could see it operating in my life.
As I was doing this twice a day it became clear that the events of my life at that time were played out in accordance with the practice. I would be tested on a daily basis to assess the progress and little by little I noticed my reactions toward my flat mate were becoming a lot calmer.
Something that also came to my attention at that time was that I often met with negative entities in the astral during the night. I understood that it was because these negative entities were just trying to stop me from doing what I was doing with this ego, which gave me even more determination to carry on, and the fear of those astral night encounters subsided.
The Progress
After some time the person who lived with me moved away and one day when they came to visit there was a play of that situation that brought up that ego that I had been studying, but I didn’t go along with it and instead used the elimination technique to remove it.
They instantly commented how I have changed and that I must have been working on it. They seemed quite happy and excited about it.
For me, that was a great support and encouragement to keep learning about this ego, as it gave me a proof that the mediation on an ego really works together with the elimination of the negative states, as Belsebuub had explained in his work.
This kind of situations sounds to me like there were just for me to learn or suffer. Learn if I look into them and suffer if I let them pass and come again next time. Thanks for sharing your experience Tina, it’s a great proof how these technics work and that someone can get some relief getting rid of these inner states, using them properly.
It’s nice how you describe that feeling of the practice unraveling in front of your eyes without you making an intellectual effort or forcing the practice in any way. Great to see how your determination and persistence with the practice really paid off and that you got to see such concrete progress.
Hi Tina. What a remarkable experience! You really inspired me with the way you combined the mediation practice with the elimination technique. and with the will and the determination you had. And the reward was irreplaceable. I too fell very grateful in my life for discovering Belsebuub’s work and being given these precious techniques, that give us the chance to change ourselves and our life. Thank you very much for sharing.
What a valuable experience Tina, thank you for sharing. The confirmation of the progress you got from your former flatmate speaks for itself I think.
On another note, I wish my meditation on an ego practices flowed in the effortless way you described! As Karim said, it looks like you may have received some Divine help there, which you probably deserved as a result of your daily efforts and the strong desire to finish up with that particular ego. Very inspiring!
Thanks for sharing this experience Tina. It’s great that with persistent efforts, you were able to use a difficult situation to gain self-knowledge and reduce some of the automatic reactions that were contributing to the negative interactions with your flatmate.
What an awesome experience, Tina. You worked so hard on those ego states: meditating on an ego twice a day sounds quite intense!
I’m glad you gained a deeper understanding of the ego and overcame it, even to the point that your former flatmate noticed! This is quite inspiring to read!
Thanks for sharing that personal experience with us Tina. Your determination to get rid of those unwanted emotions that was causing you years of strife helped remind me of the importance of diligently applying the meditation and elimination of an ego techniques, especially when the emotional states can impact those that we love and care for. It’s rewarding to see that your hard work paid off and that even your flatmate was able to notice the change in you as well.
Such an encouraging experience Tina and so glad you shared it.
It was very interesting when you said that the events of your life were played out in accordance with the practice of meditation on the ego, such a valuable perspective.
Thank you, for putting pen to paper (so to speak) to relay your experience.
Hi, Tina. Thank you for sharing your approach with the meditation on ego. It was inspiring to read how diligent you were with the practice and how it paid off in a very concrete way!
I too love that we’ve been given these techniques to change, to have a way to get out of those horrible inner states that impact ourselves and others. Thank you for sharing your experience Tina, it was very inspiring to me to read, especially about your dedication to change.
Nice to hear about you finding and utilising the tools to ‘work on yourself’ Tina. It seems like you dug in deep with your efforts, yet there also seems to have been some help in the analysis practice you carried out. Sometimes it can be so nice to dive in like that, exploring our psyche, and finally finding out how those things that trouble us so work, plus the emergence of the opportunity to change.
I think it’s a great sign that you felt what you were doing internally and with your meditation practise started to correlate to the events of your daily life. In those times it can become more visible to us that there is a higher influence setting things up for our learning.
All the best with continuing to use your life for this over focus Tina.
Thanks for sharing Tina,
The techniques of Belsebuub for analysing,meditating and eliminating egos is life changing a real game changer,
these techniques help so much.