I’ve found the technique of eliminating the egos that I learned from Belsebuub’s work to be profound, and through it I have been able to bring about gradual changes within, overcoming different emotional states and reactions that, before learning of this process, I believed were a permanent part of myself.
I had one particularly strong experience that showed me just how fast acting and powerful this practice can be.
I’d had a particularly stressful day at university, the weather was rainy and miserable, and through my frenzied states and the places I’d been, I had a song stuck in my head. I would try to be aware and observe myself and invariably notice the song.
I would pray to my Divine Mother for help, and the song would dissipate slightly, but it was always there the next time I looked within. I tried hard to persist with awareness and focus intently upon overcoming that state as I prepared dinner, ate, cleaned up, and finished my work for the night. But the song was still there.
As I went to bed, I did an astral projection practice. I think I was actually getting into it quite well, but that song began playing in my head. So I began to focus my attention and prayers towards the song and the elimination of the inner state causing it.
As I prayed, the song got a little quieter. Then it would come back. I would pray harder. Then it would come back. As this process was going on, I was falling asleep. It was near the verge of sleep that things got very interesting…
The song suddenly became more than just a “tune in my head”: I could actually hear it. As though there were speakers right next to my ears.
I prayed more for divine assistance. The sound seemed to go down. Then it came back with a vengeance – like I was at a heavy metal concert.
The state producing the tune in my head clearly did *not* want to go. I intensified my prayers and kept solely focused upon them. The music got quieter. And quieter. And quieter.
Eventually it faded out altogether. At this point, the only way I could hear the song was by intentionally thinking about recreating its sound (which I knew wasn’t a good thing to do).
The song was really gone. There was silence. That subconscious element was gone, and I felt a sense of peace and deep gratitude for the help from my Divine Mother.
By being persistent and through the mystical perceptions brought about in those moments of weaving in and out of sleep due to drowsiness, I was able to gain a whole new perspective on the elimination of the egos, and I’ve gained faith that the practice does bring about immediate effects, even if I can’t always perceive the immediate effects as clearly as in this experience.
Great share Mike, seems like it was an intense internal battle happening then and inspiring to read how you stuck it through to really be free from it. It was also interesting to read how that ego fought back too.
It was quite interesting, indeed, to see the ego fighting back. I can only imagine that the song ego is no exception.
It’s good to remember that when I’m fighting against egos and they just don’t seem to be going, that I may just have to persevere and have faith, knowing that they are fighting for their lives, as I fight for my consciousness.
That silence, especially after having a song stuck in your head so persistently, sounds just so sweet! It’s wonderful you had the means to able to reach to that.
One of the triggers I have seen is. If I listen to a song I like or hear a catchy song it can still be fine. However just after that, or an hour after for example, often the song will want to return and start playing in my head. I found this to be an essential moment. If I curb it there and then I find that it will not bother me further and I ‘forget about it’. But if I feed into it then, giving it my energy, oh oh I might be in trouble as it can stick for multiple days.
I recently had this again actually which I haven’t had in a long time. It was because I needed to learn a song and practice it, so I kind of okay’d it a bit in my mind– wrong move, because of that it went into overdrive.
Anyway I find the songs stuck in one’s head an interesting case to study. Not as straightforward as I initially thought, but definitely solvable.
That’s an interesting observation how you can catch the song trying to play later on. For me, I find there is usually an associated emotion. And sometimes the particular emotion I feel can trigger a song that resonates with that given emotion.
That sounds like an interesting position you were in, having to learn a song and practice it. It would indeed be very easy to justify the song playing in the mind, “just to become more familiar with it”…
This was an inspiring experience to read Mike, because of your persistence. How interesting that you had been applying the elimination on it for so long, and even so it still managed to make a heavy metal concert at the end : D But I think I’ve seen sometimes how at the very last instant it will put in all the strength it has, and if you persist even against that, it will go.
There was a time where I would think the elimination technique probably wasn’t working for me because I didn’t see any tangible results and it seemed to do nothing on the egos. But over time I began to have more faith in it, and the increased faith let me apply it more frequently and with less doubt.
I had a similar experience to yours when I was sitting down and trying to do a spiritual practice, but instead this very strong thought would constantly be coming to my mind and distracting me and bringing a ripple effect of awful sensations around my body. I was applying the elimination on it, but it was just coming back with the same force. So it was like I had to put in all the strength I had, really intensify my willpower against it, or it had me. Then it went away eventually, even though I was thinking it would never go. It was a really good experience because I saw that the elimination really did work and it helped to have more faith in it, even though at the time it was hard to go through. The experiences that push you beyond your limits seem to be the hardest but also most rewarding.
Thanks for sharing your experience here, Laura, on those strong thoughts and feelings when you went to practice.
I have to agree, that the experiences that push us beyond our limits can be the most rewarding, provided we fight back. Willpower is so vital, so we can overcome the most difficult battles the egos wage against us…
Yes, I agree Laura and Mike – the experiences that push us to the limit can be the hardest but also the most rewarding, provided have the willpower to fight against our negative inner states and use those difficulties for learning, as Mike said.
I can relate to songs being stuck in my head Mike! It’s happened quite a few times, but I particularly noticed it when I stayed up most of the night some years back doing last-minute revision for an exam. I was listening to various pieces of classical music and the combination of being physically tired but mentally very active lodged a particular piece in my head. Ironically, it was Chopin’s Funeral March, but it definitely didn’t want to die on that occasion!
I can also recall occasions when doing some preparations before spiritual gatherings and although I used to enjoy the opportunity to practice awareness while doing cleaning and cooking etc., I would sometimes get songs stuck in my head. I remember ending up with “Whoomp! (There It Is)” playing in my head on one occasion and although it seemed amusing at the time, I realised that it was having the effect of distracting me from the sense of awareness that I was trying to build up and was therefore having a weakening effect upon my psyche.
I can also relate to hearing music in dreams or when on the verge of sleep, but this often seemed to have a beauty to it, rather than being a niggling distraction. In fact, on a number of occasions, I’ve dreamt of a particular piece of music and associated it with a particular artist, only to discover upon waking that I actually wrote the piece myself. Apparently Paul McCartney did the same thing with Yesterday, although in its original incarnation, he called it Scrambled Eggs! 🙂
This was wonderful to read, thank you for sharing Mike. It looks like you stumbled upon a very persistent ego with this one, as the song seemed to disturb you the whole evening. To be able to perceive it in the right state, on the verge of falling asleep, must have been quite revealing.
Another thing that stands out in your experience is how it is possible to apply the technique of elimination of negative inner states also during sleep/in the astral plane. It happened to me in the past too, and it surprised me as I didn’t expect it to work there.