Experience Submitted by Aaron
For me, one of the great joys of doing a spiritual work is to see positive changes within myself. As spiritual change is a gradual process, I have seen that changes are not necessarily evident, often they are unseen. Yet if I am working on myself, I can see these changes accumulate, and sometimes when I am exposed to intense emotional events I can be surprise by the level of change within. This tale is of one such incident…
Office Bullying and Intimidation
I used to work in the head office of a large corporation. It was a very hierarchical organisation with multiple levels of management. If one wished to climb the corporate ladder there were a couple of well-established formulas, one of which involved fear and intimidation, nowadays it’s commonly known as bullying.
To be the victim of a bully is a terrible experience. One can feel a gnawing fear, physical symptoms such as sweaty palms and a dry mouth and a general loss of mental clarity which makes it very difficult to speak lucidly and precisely. It appears the only people capable of triumphing over a bully are those heroic characters in the movies, certainly not a mere mortal such as me.
There was one particularly senior manager in the organisation who was a renowned bully. Stories of him turning people into quivering jelly were legendary. He had started his career in the lowest possible role and worked his way up to become a senior executive responsible for around a thousand staff. What he hated most was for something to go wrong in his division, this would draw his full wrath.
A Heated Meeting
Prior to the incident I had only met him once, at an awards ceremony. At the time I found him quite charming, but I was under no illusions as to his ability to turn on a coin. Well that time occurred a few months later. An incident transpired which, as I recall, made it into the media and his division appeared to be at fault. My manager was summoned to attend an early morning crisis meeting, as a ‘technical expert’ my manager requested my attendance.
There were several people in the lift heading to the executive floor, all looked very tense. Exiting the lift I entered a room dominated by a single large table designed to seat 40. It was crowded beyond capacity with besuited professionals, experts in their designated fields. In normal circumstances you would expect light banter, but the room was silent, faces were drawn, the fear palpable.
Over the years I had attended several such meetings, but this was another level. I was familiar with the attendees’ emotions, such meetings are intimidating events and no matter how knowledgeable you may be in your subject area, raw emotions, egos, are brutal and debilitating psychologically.
Into this meeting strode the senior manager and he was livid. Expletives flew as he shouted his displeasure at all and sundry. Some people visibly recoiled and quivered in their seats. Then the questions started, he barked them out one after the other in rapid succession. The gathered experts, controlled by fear, were incapable of answering clearly, stumbling over their responses. This only served to make him angrier.
The questions asked were actually quite logical and insightful, the gathered cast should have been capable of clearly responding, but the combination of his anger and their fear tripped everyone up and it was a shambles.
I was seated on the same side as the senior manager, though at the far end of the table from him. Strangely, every few minutes he would lean forward and stare around the people between us directly at me, something wasn’t quite right. Anyhow, the inquisition continued and it wasn’t going well. Nobody was able to provide the assurances he sought, the atmosphere got tenser, he grew angrier and everyone else more fearful.
Experiencing the Benefits of Belsebuub’s Techniques
Finally the questions head our way. The senior manager leaned forward in his chair and barked a question at my manager. My manager turned to me to respond, all eyes were now on me.
What was quite remarkable was my inner state. Having practiced Belsebuub’s teachings for several years, studying egos both within the moment and via meditation I had developed a degree of detachment to some of them. My answers came out clear, concise and considered, unlike my colleagues I was not controlled by fear. The senior manager appeared unsettled, he fired another question to which I responded with a similar psychological state. More questions followed, but with each question his manner softened.
Satisfied he turned his attention to others. Immediately his aggression returned as did the fear in my colleagues.
After the meeting I was filled with a sense of amazement. It had been fascinating on so many levels. I was amazed at how such capable people as my colleagues floundered so badly, crucified by their own psychology and ravaging egos. I was also pleasantly surprised by my own reactions, how the application of the techniques taught by Belsebuub had so profoundly changed my ability to control my inner state and react under pressure. The other thing I found fascinating was how the senior manager became confused when his egos weren’t met with a corresponding egoic reaction, he was genuinely unsettled.
Its experiences such as these which I find so rewarding. They make the difficulties one faces attempting to do a spiritual work worthwhile. To see fundamental change in one’s own psyche is truly rewarding.
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