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My Long-Lasting Experience of Heightened Consciousness

olga
Article by Olga Grapsas

The following experience is one of the longest times I experienced a heightened state of consciousness, and how after losing it on several occasions, I was able to find my way back to it.

A Walk to Remember

I was going somewhere with a group of people. Dusk was approaching, and the scenery was quite pretty. I had straggled behind to finish something and I had to catch up with another friend. We both ran together for a few minutes since we were quite behind. We laughed a bit as we jogged side by side.

Before we reached the group, I had to slow down, relax and catch my breath. As I was approaching the group from a distance, in the blink of an eye, I noticed a surge of thoughts and emotions that came from within. It was at the same time incredible and shocking to see my internal reaction. It was a combination of thoughts and feelings associated with being around other people. I probably only noticed it because the change of scene had happened so quickly and I caught the switch of my inner state from ‘’running and being late’’ to ‘’oh here’s everybody’’.

For whatever reason, I made a very quick internal decision. I was familiar with Belsebuub’s work and had already been trying to use his method of self-observation in combination with the removal of negative states that day. I felt somewhat clear. I quickly said to myself something along the lines of ‘’Nope, I am not going to think about anyone, I am going to bring all my attention inwards.’’

While I felt compelled to think about all these people, I decided to instead shift the direction of the perspective towards my own self. It was as though there was this underlying need to entertain my attention, my thoughts, my mood in the direction of ‘other people’ and what they were doing – but I shifted my attention away from them – towards the core of my self, and for some time it was as though a curtain was drawn between me and them. Now all the attention was on me, my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my existence.

As I continued walking and was getting closer to join the group, again I felt the compelling pressure to think about the group of people and I again, shook myself out of it. I again referred my attention inwardly as though cutting off the option to think about anyone else. I remember telling myself: ‘’If I wanted to think about someone, I could think about myself!’’ And so I continued walking and I eventually caught up with the group. I continued to apply a focus of self-observation, while eliminating any compulsive thoughts or feelings that would be coming up.

A New Inner Change Unfolding

As I was walking, I was feeling a change within me. I started feeling as though I was in control of my thoughts, emotions and actions. I felt a very relieving separation from any underlying pressure my inner states were trying to drive me towards. I was feeling a sense of freedom and ease walking side by side the others.

Within me, I felt like my consciousness was intensifying and I felt a lightness inside.

At a certain point the group stopped to take a break and chat. As I approached, things seemed relatively normal, until I noticed one significant difference.

A Different Way of Hearing

As I came close, I was able to hear someone talking more distinctly. But the sound had a completely new effect on me as though it was a source of beauty that I was ingesting into the core of my being. It was as though the very sound of the person’s voice was bringing about feelings of love and joy that came into me like waves of vibration searching for a place to land within my chest.

In this instance I was feeling an increasing joy to hear them speak, even though they weren’t necessarily speaking about joyful things. It was as though the mere expression of their voice and perhaps the subtle perception I caught of their personal journey caused me to feel happy.

A few more people talked, and it was a bit overwhelming, but I didn’t want to lose the experience and the consciousness that was bringing me to such a wonderful state of joy.

Instead I just tried to concentrate on my body, on the moment and not let my mind wander or get distracted. I remember feeling a gentle excitement in my heart, but I tried to stay relaxed and hold onto a level of awareness the joyful feelings were bringing me towards.

We resumed walking. I was now very curious to explore this new state of heightened consciousness while walking with the group. I usually am able to experience fragments of peace and calm while walking in the outdoors, but I have found that sometimes when I am with others there are added challenges which arise spontaneously or as a result of inner chatter or underlying moods. But this time, I was just happy and felt free.

My initial goal to not think about others was staying with me, and I was holding onto the feelings of the consciousness as though it was something I kept caressing and nurturing. I felt the intrusion of egos at times, but it was a pleasure to get rid of them using the same elimination technique I learned from Belsebuub I had been using that day.

A Heightened Perception of Consciousness in Nature

It was amazing in so many ways to be filled with joy while being with others, but these new feelings didn’t end there. I felt my heightened state continue to expand as I looked around me and perceived some of the scenery that seemed very nice before, but now it was so much more.

happiness
Public domain image found on Pexels.

I began to feel like I was somewhere else entirely. I was seeing the leaves on trees and the abundance of tall grass with a completely new perception. It was as though behind my eyes I had a new operating mechanism. It did not seem like what I was seeing was different, and yet it was.

Perhaps it was because I hadn’t seen something so beautiful before. The scenery seemed almost other-worldly, as though I was on a completely new plane of existence where beauty was heightened a thousand times. Where everything seemed as though it vibrated with life and blissful harmony. And like this, just as the sounds of people’s voices previously caused upliftment, so did the scenery and the loving qualities of nature and the gentle play of wind and light.

The feelings I felt are reminiscent of Steve’s experience of awareness, feeling alive and perceiving the stillness of time.

Paradise Lost and Regained

After some time, I became a bit overwhelmed and my mind started commenting in disbelief at what I was experiencing, and the feelings would fade. But I tried to not let this bother me and remained calm, I remembered the feelings and again searched for the state of awareness while asking my divine mother to remove any lower states. And the joyful feelings returned, and again I was surrounded by paradise, both around me and within me. Again I was feeling happy and uplifted and walked like this for some time.

A little later, the same pattern of thoughts returned, like mud thrown on a clean windshield, with the sensations of overwhelming emotions, disbelief etc.. and I would lose and succumb to a whirl of anxiety. But I tried again and I found my way back with a similar gentleness and remembrance of where I felt the awareness and peaceful qualities in my body and in the scenery.

This coming back, losing, and coming back reminded me in some way of a feeling I had when having multiple out of body experiences in the astral plane in one night. I felt like I was having multiple out of body experiences, out of my subconscious, and into the peaceful bliss of conscious experience in the physical world.

Until the end of the day, although the intensity of peace faded, a gentle feeling of awe and gratitude remained.

In retrospect, I know that day I tried to go against my egos on many occasions. I know I put effort into the awareness and not trying to get stirred up in thinking about others. I know I made priorities for myself and tried to stand by some personal goals, but I cannot ignore that there must have been some extra help from the spiritual side that gave me a taste of what it is like to explore, fight for and persist to live in higher states of consciousness. It was an inconceivable and astonishing experience.

39 comments
  • What an inspiriting account to read, Olga. Thanks for sharing it here. It’s pretty heart-warming to consider how the divine are there to extend a helping hand or nudge us forward a bit when we put a lot of effort towards the spiritual. I’m happy to read you had such a powerful experience and that I got a little glimpse of it through your words. 🙂

  • Thank you Olga for sharing such a lovely and inspiring experience of perceiving the moment. It must have taken a ot of effort, It was very uplifting to read about this ,wishing you lots of strength Carmel

  • Such powerful experiences you had Olga, thank you for sharing.

    It is very inspiring to read how defined you were to the inner work on this particular day, amazing! 🙂 How nice to hear your efforts were rewarded, as you mentioned with a great help from the divine…

    It must have give you such a great boost to see a new potential of living, one where we can be free of the egos that smother us so much.

    • Hi Chris, yes its quite amazing how something so momentarily liberating can give a lot of hope towards a life in freedom. I think many people have experiences that offer a taste of a very real, truthful and awe-inspiring way to live. In a way I think it is part of the learning process, like a lesson being given where we are shown the answer, and then we have to somehow try to figure it out on our own.

  • Thank you for sharing that experience Olga, and you described it so clearly as though I was in a virtual world experiencing it too.

    I like how you highlighted the difference between the subconscious state and the conscious awareness as it being like mud thrown on clean windshield, it really does feel like that. And its interesting to have experienced both as without one you wouldn’t know the other existed. Its that battle between darkness and light that Belsebuub talks about that makes those experience so deeply meaningful, not just the joy and heightened perceptions that consciousness brings but to also see and understand the subconsciousness and experience the power of consciousness in life.

    I really also appreciated reading your approach of taking your perception inward to study your self in that situation; amongst people is where so much comes out for me in that interaction and even when there’s no interaction externally with others for example on a train, there’s still this running commentary, or an emotion of some kind.

    Thanks for sharing Olga and I hope that your light continues to grow from strength to strength and brings a bit more peace into the world.

  • What a nice experience you had Olga. What stood out to me is that you made a conscious decision to focus on yourself rather than on others. I feel that a first step is always that decision then the rest seem to flow from it but only if we make the effort. It feels that there is always that special help from above to those that are making those persistent efforts and the presents that we are given seem to be to show us as you said, what it takes to live in that kind of state.
    Sometimes when in this kind of state for a long time I feel as though it is so natural being like that and everything else seems so foreign but soon I get back to being “normal” i then realise how actually difficult it is to maintain it.

    • Its so true what you are saying, I hadn’t given it much thought before. Yes in the past I have considered the importance of making conscious decisions, but its true that in this instance its really what paved the way to having a very spiritually elevating experience. Many times I try to mimic this approach to make a conscious effort to achieve a goal, but in the experience I shared I think I really caught onto it because of the clarity and perception I had in that fraction of a moment. I understood what I was seeing, and there was no question that what I was seeing was wrong (and disagreeable) – so I gladly made that decision to choose not to think about others.

      This reminds me sometimes of the meditation on an ego exercise, and how you can go through the reflective parts of not wanting the ego within, and ending the practice with a conscious resolve to eliminate the ego and never wanting to repeat it. I think that feeling of having the resolve is very important for the inner work, and it can take us a long way. So its one thing to just try to pass the day feeling nice and in self observation, but it seems that that resolution really needs to be integrated to make things ‘happen’ from one step to the next.

      Having that resolution in the first place was because of a certain state of clarity that enabled me to see things clearly and objectively (and not make excuses), so I know that having a goal for awareness was very helpful, but thanks to your comment Tina, I am reminded how meaningful (and even strategic) it is to have that resolve and hopefully make those conscious decisions more often.

  • Thanks Olga, this is a lovely account of stepping out of the ‘normal’ (more like ‘distorted’!) way of being with others and seeing the world into a higher way of being. I could really imagine the way that one little victory was fed by another, and how that leads you on to being able to appreciate more, tap into finer energies, which just blossoms and unfolds until perception is changed.

    It’s sad that so often a group of people are just stifled versions of themselves, interacting from behind masks. How amazing to be able to feel the wonder of life through something so simple as another’s voice. It made me remember the account of a woman who had an NDE – Amy Call (it’s on YouTube for anyone who hasn’t seen it, it’s a very powerful one) – who recounts being in such a heightened state of perception for a while after the experience that she was almost moved to tears of elation by seeing her young daughter skip across the room.

    It’s been painfully clear to me that people think of other people way too much. And we think that they think of us much more than they actually do. It’s a real twisted mess that spins around on pride and its need to retain face. I can’t remember the talk or article, but I do remember the sentiment of something Belsebuub says: how wonderful it is be free from all these traps of the mind!

    • I know the NDE experience you are talking about. Amy’s account was really chilling and inspiring, especially about having that sentiment of wonder and amazement to seeing her daughter as an infinite amount of atoms (or a mini universe) running across her living room as well as her perception in seeing life and awe in all ordinary objects that were once living, like tables, chairs and furniture. She truly brought out that sense of appreciation that I often find missing.

      Its true what you say about that distortion Ella. For maybe the first time, I found a really real way of interacting that invited an objective sense of goodness rather then something seen through the perspective of ego states (even the mildest ones).

  • Thanks for sharing your experience of perceiving the world in a new way Olga. It must have come as a boost and it’s amazing to think how different life would be if we could all attain that kind of clarity of perception all the time.

  • What a beautiful experience Olga. I love that sense of beauty you perceived while listening to someone talking. Sometimes I feel that each one of us are beautiful in some way, just because we’re different and on our own journey….and well, not sure how to explain it. But your experience made me wonder about it. Maybe it’s just a very beautiful thing also….to be on that journey and to grow into what we can become. Like the process itself is lovely.

    And to perceive nature like that, like almost a different world, it must have been amazing. Thank you for sharing this experience. It made me want to try harder to feel more beauty and joy and to not be afraid of it 🙂

    • Thank you for your comment Anne Linn. Yes there was something very heart-warming about having that connection when coming across someone speaking, as though there was some link that we all have with one another. It was a feeling that is hard to describe with words, but if I could label it it would be like feeling a connection of equality, empathy and support.

  • Hi Olga, thank you for sharing this experience. It was uplifting to read it. I sometimes find it difficult not to think about other people, especially when I’m surrounded by them. I feel like it’s easy to lose sense of myself, but I’ve also found that by actually focusing on myself, my body, being clear in the here I can actually be ‘me’ and also connect to others much more adequately.

    It like how you describe the other worldly feeling of awareness and experiencing that person’s voice. I’ve felt something similar with some people’s voices where I could feel them almost vibrating in my heart.

    Wish you many more experiences like that.

    • I also find it hard not thinking about others. But its interesting and intriguing how taking our thoughts away from being about people actually increases a fondness towards others – as though its the most natural thing to be happy for someone else (until we start thinking about them — then a more complex or limited connection develops). Makes me wonder what’s really going on underneath the surface with all the thoughts we have about the people around us and how that shapes our moods, conversations and relationships (even the tiniest, formless thoughts).

      Just now, someone walked right behind me and sat down somewhere, completely not related to anything I am doing, but I can’t help but notice some very quiet yet compelling thoughts, even visual impressions appearing that I am taking very lightly. (I don’t think I would have really noticed, unless I was writing this comment, and reminded of that awareness about thinking about others) But, I am stunned at how much of a difference it makes to take little things like that more seriously. In my post above, the circumstance and change of scenery somehow let me see the difference in my mood, so I was very quick to change it, and pay attention to not get absorbed in thinking about others. I think it takes a much stronger attention to detail and resolve for something like that to make a dent into one’s lifestyle and general state of being.

      • I like what you say about how it can be the most natural thing to have a fondness and be happy for others. It does seem like this is a quality of the consciousness – not in a naive way, but in the sense of not carrying around a lense of suspicion through which we see everyone and expect people have to prove themselves worthy of us ‘taking our guard down’, or even of thinking of them as a decent person. I guess I’ve tried to cultivate this, thinking that everyone should have the ‘benefit of the doubt’, that they’re ‘innocent before being proven guilty’, partly as it seems logical and fair, but partly as I’ve seen how when I’m clouded with egos I really don’t like anyone in general, but when I’m able to be clearer from them, I’m much more naturally friendly.

  • What you describe in being joyful to hear someone else speaking, and learning about their journey, sounds so incredible, Olga. It’s interesting, though, that the route you had to go about achieving such a state is by focusing within. It can sound kind of strange that we connect better with others by focusing on ourselves, like Karim was mentioning.

    That otherworldly perception of nature also really struck me. It was so beautiful how you described it. It truly sounds like an astral experience, where the magic can really be felt, despite the physical reality.

    “A Walk to Remember” and “Paradise Lost” – are there any other hidden literary/movie references hidden in there, or did I catch them all? 😉

    • Yes it is interesting how an internalised focus can improve our external relationships and environment. It does sound strange but it reminds me of another literary/movie reference that I will throw at you 🙂 of being able to ”see with eyes unclouded by hate”.

      I think there is a very profound truth in what Belsebuub has shown in outlining a spiritual work that is inward at its root, and the more you delve within, the better you begin to treat those around you.

      • Yes, that internal focus is perhaps most evident when we are confronted with enemies, whether real or perceived. Having that internal focus helps to see situations and other people more objectively, and to respond without hatred.

        I still have to see that movie!

  • This was amazing to read, thank you so much for sharing Olga! Actually just today morning, as I was waking up, I caught immediately these thoughts of others you talked about. In my case it was about the politics and what this or that person on the political scene may probably do, etc… As I noticed this, I thought “why on Earth do I consider all these things so important”? And I started applying the technique you mentioned in the article. But just in a minute or 2, I found myself again thinking of others – this time my spiritual friends. Ok, maybe better than politicians, but the effect was the same – my consciousness got bottled up again. Again I started applying the technique of elimination of these ego-based thoughts, and for a while felt clear. And all this happened just within about 5 minutes, while still lying in bed after waking up in the morning.

    So it was very interesting for me to later turn on my computer and see your article here, dealing with the same topic. It clearly shows how much preoccupied we are with the lives and actions of others, instead of just dealing with our own inner states and trying to reach clarity that could actually improve our relationships with others so dramatically.

    I really loved what you said about a person’s voice and how you could perceive that in such a different way in awareness. I also wonder how much knowledge we are missing when submerged in the ego states. How much more subtle information we could catch if we were clear, how much more of real, objective life would open up for us… Your experience illustrates this so clearly.

    Thank you very much again for this inspiration, I really admire your tireless experiments and fights for inner objectivity that is coming through in your articles.

    • Thanks for your comment Lucia, I think its true that we miss out on a lot of subtleties when we are lost in thoughts or ego states. But we probably miss out on big things too 🙂

      Its funny how you woke up with those reflections in the morning. I find it possible to catch myself getting absorbed in thoughts that I could have easily shook off, but its just much harder to really get into it to make a big enough difference upon my overall perception. Hopefully we get a few extra minutes every day 🙂

  • One other thing that caught my attention though was that moment when you stepped out of the normal way of perceiving— through hearing someone’s voice so clearly and differently. I felt I could understand that experience, perhaps due to something in the past? It reminded me of a slightly different yet similar experience, or moment, that happened to me last summer. I was with a group of friends around a bonfire, we were all singing mantras and songs which were all nice. However at one point someone sang a lullaby-like song. At first I was just listening ‘normally’ and thought this sounds quite nice etc. But there was still a sort of subtle cloak of blurriness upon me even though I had been trying to get clear. At a point I (and the bonfire and evening silence helped I’m sure) started listening very intently, going into that silence+voice, like a natural and pure concentration. And for some moments something strange happened, it was like the singing went straight into my heart. It bypassed me ears even and I could hear it in my heart.
    Even realising that was happening caused the first thoughts to appear and bring me back to normal ‘deaf’ listening. I was left feeling sad after… knowing I have not within/am separated from that way of perceiving. Knowing it’s something that’s not acquired ‘just like that.’
    Anyway can’t get too down about such things 😀 better to get to working within! It did make me realise again though that for me personally there’s no point to pursuits such as music etc. Because it just made all ‘normal’ listening seem very empty. Rather I saw I need to ‘awaken’, increase my perception, through that then I can actually experience it.

    • Hi Karim, that’s a lovely experience and one which I could fondly relate to. I think with the right state our perception really opens up and we can come to greatly value the sounds, movements and activities around us. I have also found that there are a lot of insights when I pay attention to that ‘deafening’ process, especially in finding a way back.

      It feels like that state of appreciation is very authentic compared to the numbness that can be caused by ego states.
      Even air can sometimes be so beautiful as you perceive its peacefulness.

      • “With the right state our perception really opens up and we can come to greatly value sounds, movements, and activities around us”. That’s so true Olga and that is what I hope to strive for too so that in those rare moments of clarity we can appreciate the freedom of simply being and perceive the things around us as they are without the coloration of egos states. I can recall one time when this extremely rare event happened to me. One of first things that I noticed when I was able to maintain clarity was that I was able to hear a full conversation between two people without a passing a judgment, a criticism, a fantasy, an emotion – nothing – I simply heard and understood EVERY single word that was spoken. The immense joy I felt when I realized this was happening is too incredible to describe with words. I really appreciate you sharing this uplifting experience with us, it’s such a great reminder that it’s possible for each of us to achieve this if we continue to persist with it.

        • Nice Patricia. That actually simply hearing a full conversation like that in a clear way can be so amazing 🙂 What wonderful gifts we’re fortunate enough to be able to strive for with this work!

          One of the things I’m looking into now is my conversations at work. So interesting to see what’s going on there and how am I in talking with different people. The fear I feel which makes me act in certain ways, or sometimes my own states that look to feed pleasure in conversations.
          I often start the conversation in a clear way and can maintain it for a while while observing within, however I seldom make it all the way to the end. When this happens I feel a bit drained after, and more and more with each consecutive conversation that transpires like that. Your conversation reminds me to strive to make it all the way, because the result (especially energetically) is so different.

        • I think that’s an incredible experience you had there Patricia. How wonderful it would be if all our communication was like that!

  • What a lovely day that must’ve been Olga!

    It’s interesting what you said (liberally and badly paraphrasing here) about that identification to certain ways of interacting with others, or in a group. And even though saying to focus on oneself instead of others might read like something ‘selfish’ it is in fact the total total opposite! I’ve sometimes seen that even with the people who are also genuinely interested in awareness there can still be other affinities also at play and our ways of interacting can be about spiritual subjects or the like, but that is not the same as actually really being clear and aware. A difference which shined through in this article imo.

  • I wish more days in my life would be like the one you just described. What a wonderful and uplifting experience! I’m sure it took efforts on your end to come back to that clarity again and again, but you got the rewards too for doing so. That’s something I find challenging to get right. Making a continues effort throughout the day to have some kind of breakthrough and not to forget for periods of time.

    I felt the intrusion of egos at times, but it was a pleasure to get rid of them using the same elimination technique I learned from Belsebuub I had been using that day.

    I love this line where you highlight the inner work that we can do from the perspective of the consciousness instead the egos, where the qualities of the consciousness are highlighted instead of the losses that the ego often clings onto. It’s easy to over-rate the little and temporary pleasures that the egos bring, while they really don’t compare at all to the peace, stillness, and beauty of the consciousness.

    • Thank you for your comment Roy, I wish you many, many days like that 🙂 One thing I gained for sure, is that such an experience was born from a very subtle sacrifice as well as a goal that I held onto for a lengthy period of time. I think because the goal was not so crazy intense/unrealistic like ”I am going to be aware for the whole day without a minute to spare” but something as simple as saying no to chocolate (maybe I should pick another example)… something like turning my head away from something, it felt very specific (but not too big), and I understood intrinsically that there were egos pulling me to do something, so it was easy to make a lengthier goal out of it, something that I could easily pursue. Because of that it was very natural to work towards, unlike many other unrealistic goals I have had in the past, and as a result the peaceful feelings were also quite tangible.

      • What a great insight Olga, about that subtle sacrifice you were making over a long period of time leading to inner peace. Thanks a lot for sharing!

        I noticed I tend to miss those subtle things the egos want to make me do, and then I’m confused when the big things hit. It’s also easy to give excuses for the subtle things if your priorities aren’t right, to go against them. But it’s the subtle things that are manageable and are preventing the bigger things from swallowing you up.

  • That sounds like a divine experience Olga! I felt happy and inspired just reading about it and almost like living through it with you. There are so many lessons in it. I feel like I’m learning things deep inside when reading yours and others’ experiences on this series of sites, which is quite amazing 😮

    It was so beautiful what you described about perceiving the nature around you ‘with new eyes’. Likewise, it was very uplifting to read how hearing someone’s voice speaking about ordinary things brought emanations of joy and love to your heart. That it could be a source of beauty would have been unimaginable to me before but I can kind of imagine how getting an understanding of their uniqueness and journey was bringing you happiness.

    I especially liked what your resolve in that situation was, putting all your attention on yourself, your body, thoughts and emotions, when your egos wanted to think about and react to others and get caught up in that. It’s kind of amazing because it relates directly to what I’ve been going through recently, where I always start feeling like I have to keep away from people because they bring too much turmoil inside… but it is not about me being a victim and need to hide from something external that upsets my inner balance, but that I’m the keeper and watchman of myself and it’s all about what’s going on inside me, not what others say or do. I need to generate the strength, faith and a connection to the divine so I can keep my balance and serenity no matter what happens outside of myself, be in control of myself and stand by those standards like you said. It’s empowering and inspiring, and somehow I’m getting an external confirmation that this is true from your account 🙂 So thank you very much for sharing it!

    • Hi Laura,

      I just wanted to say that I also feel like after some time of being with others, I have “enough” so to speak, and need to regain my ballance on my own. And I also often feel guilty, as people don’t even do anything bad or negative, but just by being there everybody emanates something (including myself of course), and the sum of it starts to be overwhelming after a while.

      But Olga’s article gave me a hope that by putting myself into the right inner state, it could be possible to perceive these situations differently, to tap maybe into the higher aspects of people and to vibrate on the “love frequency” somehow. 🙂

      Wishing you a lot of strength and inspiration!

      • I know what you mean, about needing time to recharge after being in others company, but I’ve also felt the other way, leaving company feeling charged through a respectful and loving exchange between two or more people who can communicate and let the divine ‘breath’ between them. Though the latter has been much less common!

        This topic made me consider another reason as to why I was drawn to travelling when I was younger. There was something about meeting people and having fleeting friendships that meant I was able to see them as just people, without the judgements that come with history and that often marks the interactions between ‘old friends’. In particular I remember a week or so I spent with 5 others in a foreign country, our paths converged in a beautiful spot and we lived under an ancient tree in a guest house for a short period of time that was marked with happiness, warmth and a real sense of kindness and appreciation between us. Partly I think it was aided by us all having a sense of the spiritual in life. I still think of them with a real sense of closeness and wonder, like we somehow stepped into a magical world together that lifted us all up and lasted a fraction of time. But others too, who I could ‘see’ without judgement, and like Anne Linn mentioned in her comment, see them as individuals on their journey, something that seemed to allow a real sense of joy and a sense of kinship.

        But, with ‘old friends’, that’s where the real challange lies, in overcoming built up resentments, ideas, to stop holding them to pictures we have of them. To find the ‘love frequency’ then is much more of an achievement!

        • I think I’ve felt that empowerment from being with others when people shared something honest about themselves that each was able to relate to and take something away from and that dispelled illusions and suspicions about each other. Sincerity from me or from others seems to help not to become drained. Which leads me to consider that I need to cultivate that more and how insincere most of my communication with others must be since I find it draining.

      • I think there is a lot of talk of this in social media these days, how ‘introverts’ become drained being with others and have to recharge with alone time, while ‘extroverts’ become charged by being with others. Well I can really relate to the introvert way of things, but where is it coming from… I think it can be related to too much focus on and being too absorbed in myself and my problems, low self-confidence that gives rise to too much fear and pride about what others think, and what Ella mentioned above, having to maintain face and not reveal too much about my real opinions, thoughts and feelings, because it feels vulnerable and shameful and fragile. This happens even with family and close friends… so much to discover there. But I’ve noticed that if I observe that feeling of ‘I’ and what it’s making me feel and try to get rid of it, and go instead to a place of consciousness where I can feel care and concern towards others, about what they are going through, it really turns things around.

        Thank you!

      • Hi Lucia, I am a big fan of the ‘love frequency’ – do you know if its on sale anywhere 😉 ?

        I used to have this big part of me that thought ‘love’ was the answer, and it just needed to be slotted into any given situation, as though wanting to smother situations with love! But like you said, its all about our own inner state. Several times, I have found that focusing on my own emotional reactions and removing egos was the very answer and solution to love, as it spontaneously and sometimes intensely came about as a result of that personal removal of uglier unwanted states that blocked that love in the first place.

        • That’s so sweet Olga, wanting to smother situations with love : ) Thanks for sharing though how you found a way to real love, very inspiring!

    • Thanks very much for your comment Laura. I have certainly had my share of being in the victim’s seat! But like you said, the work of inner change can be very empowering.

      Inner balance is such an important point. It really seems that this ultimately gives us so much control in the way our lives unfold, whichever way it is that we go by finding that balance. I also think that a sense of strength can grow very slowly and steadily from a very peaceful place – until it becomes something much easier to find over time – regardless if we are alone or with others.

      Considering the notion of the importance of recharging or running away from turmoil when surrounded by people and unpleasant circumstances – I know that it is possible to have beautiful experiences of consciousness when facing events I would have normally resisted. Its these times that showed me that I can remove the source of the unpleasantness from my side, and as a result capture the beauty that was missing from my point of view. As such, I have seen that I hold that turmoil and unpleasantness (not someone else), and by removing it from my side everything changes and paradise is in reach. It seems that this is just one of those things that takes time to realise, at least for me anyway : ) Its always much easier to justify our lives in the view point of the victim, or the wrongs of others, but that does get stale after a while.

      • Thank you too for sharing that Olga. it’s empowering to read. Egos make everything so stale and distorted in general.

About Belsebuub

Prior to withdrawing from public life in 2010, author Belsebuub had written several books and many articles on the topic of self-discovery. Read more

More Experience Sites

More experiences with Belsebuub's work:
- Dream Guidance
- Mystical Experiences
- Out-of-Body Experiences

Read more about this series of sites here.
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