After some time of intensively practicing and exploring Belsebuub’s techniques of training to be aware during my day, trying to overcome some strong negative states and addictive patterns, working overall to bring balance and clarity within, I had an experience where I was helped to reach a heightened state of consciousness, where I felt I could separate from the stream of thoughts in my mind.
It arose through the practice of being aware in the present moment, and has stayed with me since.
Beyond the Mind
I was with my family, just sitting outside in nature and enjoying a hot summer day in the mountains. As I tried to feel the nature around me, I suddenly felt much clearer than usual. I was surprised.
The clarity of my state increased to a point where I felt that I can completely switch off my mind as something separate from me and just be clear, perceiving and hearing everything around me. I felt very quiet and perceptive.
I felt blissful and a silent joy was overflowing within me. At a point I decided to go back to my previous mode of being, just to check if it was still available – yes, my thoughts were still there, but they were not shouting at me or taking over me. Something else was dominating my being at that moment, a more full and real me. It actually felt like the real me that I didn’t even know was there.
It was a unique experience – something I haven’t felt before or since.
Recalling the Clarity
After a while the feeling diminished, but for some time even after the experience had passed I could go back to it to a certain extent, though not to the same intensity.
Sometimes while walking or any time I didn’t need to use my mind, but wanted just to be aware and alive, I would call back the feeling of that experience to bring me the determination and willingness to be aware.
In his work, Belsebuub mentions that at an advanced stage of spiritual development it is possible to separate from the mind when you wish to. I wonder if that experience I was given was aimed at showing me a glimpse of what is possible if enough internal work is done.