Experience submitted by Paty Trenaman
I was driving home one week night like I used to after having attended one of Belsebuub’s courses. It was just after 9pm or so and I made my way down a relatively busy street of the city to get to my home. Like most nights, there was moderate traffic and at one point along the journey home I had to stop at a red light. There were cars in front of me, to the back of me and to the sides. Nothing unusual.
By this time I had already learned about awareness, being in the present moment and also self-observation. I would use the drive home to practice being in awareness and self-observe. I’ve found that driving can really help to keep my focus on what I’m doing, where I am and the constant stream of thoughts that arise.
In addition to these practices, I had also been fortunate to learn a technique to eliminate our egos, our thoughts, emotions, feelings of anxiety, etc. This technique has proven to be one of the most important practices I have ever learned in my life.
Just before the lights turned green, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that there were two men approaching the traffic from the street. They looked quite determined and even daring, on a mission, so to speak. Before I knew it one of them had passed one lane of cars and stood at the passenger side door of my vehicle. He tried pulling on the door handle in an attempt to open the door.
I should mention at this point that I never used to lock the doors of my car; I probably thought that in the event of an accident I needed to make sure that people could have access to me should I need medical assistance. For some reason, that night before driving off I intuitively decided to lock the doors.
As the man had not been able to open the door to my car he quickly took off as by then the lights had turned green and the traffic began moving. I had the chance to actually look directly at the two men and what I got back from them was a look of hatred which was almost piercing.
All the while I could feel the sensations of fear start to rise within me: accelerated pulse, shortness of breath, a hole in the pit of my stomach, etc.
As I had been making a lot of efforts to be in awareness at the time I was able to perceive these familiar sensations very clearly, and I made concerted efforts to not let these sensations become stronger.
I then started to apply the technique of elimination of the egos, and I repeated this technique over and over again.
I could see that my thoughts wanted to start reliving that incident repeatedly in my mind, and tell me how scary that incident had been. In addition, the physical sensations of fear were wanting to take over and almost make me feel paralyzed.
I continued to just use that practice over and over again as I tried to just focus on the driving. And as soon as they returned, I hit them with the technique again and again. I did this all the rest of the way home.
It took me around 15 minutes to get back home and by the time I did, I realized that I was no longer feeling those awful sensations of fear and dread. I did not feel diminished by the fear that I had originally felt like I would have at other times.
I felt so grateful to realize that because of the techniques I had learned from Belsebuub on eliminating egos I had been able to deal with a situation that could potentially have created some degree of trauma and could have stopped me from wanting to drive my car at night on my own, like I always had.